Death

My granddaughters mother Mandy called me this morning. Mandy's father shot himself last night.
Apparently he suffered from chronic pain but because of his history as an addict the doctors were unwilling to help him.
So he died alone in a not very well kept studio apartment in Dallas Texas. Talking about adding insult to injury.. His brother found him. He said it looked like a scene from a Quentin Tarantino movie.
I never met him but Mandy said he was alot like me. Then she listed off many fine qualities that he had ...the only one I thought applied to me was tht he was also an artist but I was flattered that she thinks so highly of me and grateful that she felt like she could turn to me for help which as it turned out she didn't need from me but it was the thought that warms me.
But it really pisses me off that this bloody country and these self righteous doctors can decide who suffers and who doesn't based on their own particular set of morality.
It's ok to drink yourself to death and ok to ruin your lungs and anyone else around you as in your innocent children but it is not ok to ask for relief from pain.
As one who suffers from pain I can attest to how difficult it makes day to day living. I choose not to take the pain killers that have been prescribed to me because I don't like them but I dread the day when I have to take them to survive because that will no doubt be when I am told I can't have them anymore because now I really need them.
Idiots.